I didn't always know I had faith. I believe faith is something that is embedded in each of us, we simply choose to see it or not, choose to believe in it or not and choose to what degree of faith to live on. There was a time in my life when I didn't seek God at all, much less first. It showed in my eyes. People recognized my hopelessness then as much as they see my joy now. I remember I was approached once by a man who must have recognized that I was, as they say, a lost sheep. He was a pastor of a church and invited me to come and fellowship there. I agreed. Although I didn't know exactly what was wrong with me then, I knew from my upbringing that I may be able to find a missing link in church. Therefore, I agreed to attend his church.

The day I went, they came to pick me up, everyone I met greeted me with a beautiful smile and a hug. I was treated with love. So far, so good. I attended their Sunday school and then the regular sermon. To this day I couldn't tell you what the sermon was about, but there was one very significant' part that will be etched in my memory forever.

The pastor was trying to make a point and I became alert when he said, "...that's just like those gays!" I was at full attention at that point. He continued with, "Let me just stop right here and say, you know I hate those gays! I really do! But at least they're honest! They are honest about what they are!"

I sat there with my mouth open. I could not believe that this man, a supposed man of God, was in the pulpit preaching hate! My spirit IMMEDIATELY closed up from receiving anything else from the man in the pulpit. I may have been a lost sheep, but I knew that my Sheppard would not be teaching me to hate.

My life has taught me that my faith is as large and genuine as my smile, my love, and my joy, for that's where they came from. It has enabled me to embrace all personality types and learn from them. It has given me the knowledge and fortitude to not be intimidated by anyone. Regardless of a person's standing in conjunction to mine, we are all mere mortals. I figure, if you're not God, what is it that you could possibly do to me that would make me bow down to you? My faith has been the doorway to allow me to not be afraid to love. Love is something that God has asked us all to do. Because of life, hurt, pain, disappointment and other people we close off that ability a little more every time something goes awry. I have found that the more I am willing to love, however, the more I receive. That makes all of those unbearable moments bearable.